Archive | August, 2012

My weekend… and the past couple of months, for that matter

21 Aug

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What the hell happened last night?

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You frickin’ rang?

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Never. Drinking. Again.

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 Unicorns… Rainbows… Bear traps…

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WTF is this??

21 Aug

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, but between all the eating, sleeping, pooping, and frolicking I do, it’s hard to carve out quality time to document my thrilling life. A new development has emerged on the horizon, and it is despicable.

Chick Human and Dude Human came home the other day and took me out of my cozy hammock I love so dearly and into this god-awful place that was all too familiar… the pet shop (dum dum DUUUUMMM!!!) The trip was mostly a blur I’ve tried semi-successfully to block out. But the one thing I can’t block out is this:

“Yeah. Step on my spleen, why don’t you?”

Those bastards got me a roommate.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally get the cuteness factor that makes them go “Awww!” every time the pipsqueak moves, but I mean… c’mon!! He’s practically a brown possum… except cuter and smaller and less likely to end up as road kill (for now, that is. My patience and his gullibility have yet to be determined).

Dude & Chick Humans still don’t know what they’re gonna call him, so they’ve called him Esteban, Rodrigo, Jorge, Roberto, Juan, Jose, and a bunch of other chips and salsa names. I call him annoying. Who knows—the little dude may prove useful. If nothing else, he’s a great decoy for the cats…