Archive | August, 2012

My weekend… and the past couple of months, for that matter

21 Aug


What the hell happened last night?


You frickin’ rang?


Never. Drinking. Again.


 Unicorns… Rainbows… Bear traps…


WTF is this??

21 Aug

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, but between all the eating, sleeping, pooping, and frolicking I do, it’s hard to carve out quality time to document my thrilling life. A new development has emerged on the horizon, and it is despicable.

Chick Human and Dude Human came home the other day and took me out of my cozy hammock I love so dearly and into this god-awful place that was all too familiar… the pet shop (dum dum DUUUUMMM!!!) The trip was mostly a blur I’ve tried semi-successfully to block out. But the one thing I can’t block out is this:

“Yeah. Step on my spleen, why don’t you?”

Those bastards got me a roommate.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally get the cuteness factor that makes them go “Awww!” every time the pipsqueak moves, but I mean… c’mon!! He’s practically a brown possum… except cuter and smaller and less likely to end up as road kill (for now, that is. My patience and his gullibility have yet to be determined).

Dude & Chick Humans still don’t know what they’re gonna call him, so they’ve called him Esteban, Rodrigo, Jorge, Roberto, Juan, Jose, and a bunch of other chips and salsa names. I call him annoying. Who knows—the little dude may prove useful. If nothing else, he’s a great decoy for the cats…